Friday night randomness

We need to build a nitrous equipped bus.
"Dan Moody, putting the cum into Cumbria since 1886."

sunday morning question

Can you tell us of any flat foods we can laminate?

Certified Independent Idiot

Tshirt coming soon.

Friday night question

Given a time machine, which five people from history- and at which time in their lives- would you like to "meet". We've already bagsy'd Bridget Bardot, Barbarella era Jane Fonda and Audrey Hepburn, but we're willing to share.

Scally Hunting

After much consideration, we have decided that this is our new vocation. Don't worry, we shall kill them (relatively) humanely.

If only simple was like that easy

Phrase of the evening so far, courtesy of Alex, strongbow and 'cake or death'.

Thought of the day

Can anyone help me, I want to fit a romulan cloaking device to a crocodile. Any ideas how?

Ultimate DIY super weapons: No.231

A space-worthy shuttle powered, armour plated steam roller with retractable wings.

Loofahs and blogging go together you know

MAybe this guy's visited us recently.....



via ProBlogger

Too much like hard work

Working in a jobcentre is proving to be a real eye opener. A lot of people just expect the staff to bend over backwards to help them get the money that they expect and even sometimes demand as their right.
The attitude that they show is often just shocking and how some members of the staff haven't snapped occasionally and just slapped them constantly amazes me.
This got me thinking that if it wasn't so easy for them to get benefits they might make more of an effort to get a job.
The following idea is aimed at those people who just make absolutely no effort to do anything with their lives and just seem to live to make other peoples lives a misery with their aggressive behaviour and nasty attitudes.
The following idea which some may say is radical and crazy would reduce the number of people claiming benefits, and would generate drive and ambition in those who were succesful.
I propose that the jobcentre be placed at the top of a hill. There will be four towers at the corners of the building with a sniper at the top of each.
The field will be mined randomly and there will be catapults launching clay pitchers filled with boiling chip fat (oil is so middle ages).
All signers will be at the bottom of the hill and they will be armed with the weapons of their choice.
At opening times the signers will have to charge the hill and while avoiding flaming chip fat defend themselves from each other as there will only be a maximum of 100 available slots to sign.
The marksmen in the towers will be on a bonus for any fatalities as this will reduce in the long run the number of benefits seekers.
I know there are many genuine cases where people are seeking work and for those people I accept that we will be able to come up with an alternative, more pleasant way to help them.
It would certainly change peoples attitudes to working for a living!

Gay, in a heterosexual way

Phrase of the evening. We're not sure what it means. But apparently, Tim is.

Petition required

If we can get over 1,156 signatures (and a pound), Tim will not repaint his spare room, which has the groovy space wallpaper.

Who would win?

If Superman was to have an arm wrestling match with Godzilla who would win?

Caught dead to rights

In the true spirit of " It seemed like a good idea at the time " this lady maybe went a little too far to escape justice!

Sonic, but not as you know him!

It appears that the world's fastest animal has finally been tracked down. Scientists and archaeologists even believe that this animal helped in the evolution of man.

First contact- Milton Keynes

As I was thinking the other day about random things that flit across my mind like ghosts in the night I had this sudden thought.
Now I admit that I haven't researched this at all but nonetheless I think there maybe something in this.
Crop circles seem to have been around since around the sixties or at least thats when people started reporting them en masse. Now when you think of crop circles what springs to mind?
Geometric designs of unfathomable complexity which seem to comprise of many circles of varying sizes. Oh yeh, that and the theory that they were created by aliens.
Now, which man made place was built around this time and still to this day baffles most of the poor people who have to go through it?
Ispeak of course of our beloved Milton Keynes!

Coincidence? I think not!

I would like to see exactly who was responsible for its inception and planning! On detailed examination I am convinced the records will prove that the alleged people responsible will prove to have been ficticious with no background or records of them having done anything previously or afterwards!
It could only have been aliens. I mean lets face it, people have lost hours and even days navigating around all them roundabouts, or at least thats what their implanted memories tell them!
The aliens have obviously concentrated all their kidnappings there because nobody would believe that anyone wouldn't lose hours going through that city no matter how fast they were driving!

I shall be contacting the authorities with my suspicions and let the eminent specialists at the Weekly World News investigate!

Geeks look away now......

Just as I seem to be overwhelmed by the sheer geekiness of some of the people I know I come across this video which gladdens my heart. If anyone wishes to help me recreate this film I'll gladly accept all donations!

Mules

If we were to liquidise a mule, how many litres would we get?

To do

Winston Churchill does I Will Survive.

Husky dog pallet sledging.

Bemusements

I'm told that one of the sound shops in Wythenshawe is having a half price sale.

The Royal Mail website won't tell me the postcode for Buckingham Palace (SW1A 1AA, according to Dutch wikipedia).